Back to the main subject:
I have been a "growing" Christian for many, many years. I keep getting older in years but, in my ways and habits, I regress to infancy as a Christian so often that I can barely walk without help. Lots of help.
As usual, it's when something troubling happens in my life that I review my faith. When relationships fail or I get sick, or when death comes sniffing around my circle of loved ones. These are the times when I pay most attention to my eternal fate. What a shame that trouble in my life is what best gets my attention.
Recently - because of a lot of different struggles - I have been doing my self-evaluation. I know that I am not living as well as I can in honor of God. For instance, I have been spending too much time and attention on things that please the world. Some of these things aren't even pleasing to me.
I am making notes of things that I need to keep from controlling my life and my time:
- Horoscopes: I backslide with this a lot. I know that I'm not to look to the stars for my fate, but I get all caught up in what it means to be "born under the sign of Cancer." I was reminded that we are not to be enslaved by human wisdom. Maybe a video reminder is what I needed.
- Music: This is something I have struggled with all my life. The fact that I do struggle with it is what made me take a closer look at my preoccupation. I have started to realize that a lot of the music I listen to, I listen to in ignorance. Music is powerful. Anything with power can be dangerous. Besides, most of the music I listen to is in praise of everything but God. I watched part of this video of a teaching on the subject.
- Casual information: This is that I absorb without really thinking. That is another dangerous situation because information that we take in can mold our thinking. For instance, I was scrolling through a list of quotes intended to inspire creative people and saw one by Charles Bukowski: "Find what you love and let it kill you." My first thought (as someone who aspires to be a writer) was, "Wow. Cool." But, if I really take time to think about that quote, it's not healthy. I interpreted it to mean one should give themselves over to whatever it is they love - like, maybe writing?
That's just a start to my thoughts as a do a sort of spiritual inventory.
One thing I do know is that, as soon as some people read this post, they will have negative reactions. I'm used to people thinking of Christians as over-zealous and stiff-minded. I'd sure like for those people to realize that they are often just as zealous and faithful to what they believe as I am.